


The One with The Fire

by jademark



Series: Given Prompts [8]
Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Ashes, Barney - Freeform, Crack, Fire, House Fires, ancient barney, dinosaur extinction, escaped monkeys, gunther is there for 2 seconds, idk why teen and up. just to be safe?, marcel - Freeform, parent death mention though no one actually dies, tai chi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:48:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21777070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jademark/pseuds/jademark
Summary: "The Cast of Friends' apartment burns down so joey recreates it from his parents' ashes and his own tears. But then Phoebe burns it back down and like finds Chunky version of Chandler and his love for his ancient barney toy getting in the way of her tai-chi lessons that she gives to the unfortunate ape down the road."
Series: Given Prompts [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1599073
Kudos: 3





	The One with The Fire

**Author's Note:**

> My sister gave me this prompt despite not having watched any episodes of Friends or being familiar with the characters.  
> 

Monica received a call at work. She held the phone, pausing. “What?” she exclaimed.

Minutes later, Gunther handed Rachel the phone. “Rachel, it’s for you.”

“Okay. Monica, calm down, I can’t make out what you’re saying.” Rachel said. “Oh no. You’ve got to be kidding me. How could something like that happen?” 

Rachel held the phone at a distance from her ear. “Okay, okay, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. Accidents happen, okay? How bad was the damage? ...Wow. Okay. Uh. Wow. Oh… I can’t believe this.” 

* * *

The friends gathered at the door of Monica and Rachel’s apartment, which was closed off by caution tape.

“Please, can I just take a look?” Monica asked the firefighter, who shook her head. 

“We’ll give you a run-down of what you need to know soon. It looks like it came from the kitchen.”

Rachel shot Monica a filthy look. 

“Hey, it could have been you!” Monica said.

“Oh really? When’s the last time I turned the oven on?” Rachel said.

“Hey, you know, you guys can stay with Chandler and I for as long as you need to,” Joey said.

“And my place is always available too,” Phoebe added. 

“Thanks, you guys,” Rachel said, teary-eyed. She hugged Joey and started crying. Monica crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. “Okay, come on. I don’t think it got to our rooms. We’ve got insurance. We’ll… We’ll get this sorted out.” 

Later that night, Joey emerged from his apartment and found the door to Monica and Rachel’s apartmentunlocked. He maneuvered past the caution tape and got to work. 

Rachel stayed with Chandler and Joey for the night while Monica stayed with Phoebe. 

“How you holding up?” Joey nodded at a messy-haired Rachel in the morning. 

“Eh… It hasn’t really registered,” Rachel rubbed her eyes. 

“Hey, call Monica over. I want to show you two something,” Joey said.

“Okay? Sure.” 

Monica arrived at Joey and Chandler’s apartment, and Joey lead the two inside their burnt apartment. “Uh, Joey? We’re not supposed to go in here,” Monica said. When Rachel and Joey proceeded onward, she shouted, “It’s unsafe!” 

Joey gestured to Rachel and Monica who eventually followed them in. “Do you like it?”

“What is it?” Rachel asked after a pause.

Joey looked offended. “Um… I recreated your place for you! Now,” he gestured apologetically, “I didn’t have much on hand. I actually put a little Tribbiani touch in there: my parent’s ashes.” 

No one responded for a moment.

“Your… Your parents are still alive,” Monica said.

“Well, of course,” Joey said, crossing his arms.

“So... “ Rachel said. “What in the world are you referring to?”

“Oh, you think ashes just mean bodies? Well, I’ll have you know that in the Tribbiani family, ashes can mean burnt belongings. So, I burned a mix of things that were important to my parents, and to me, and reconstructed some of your home! And I even put in some of my own tears!” 

“Uh… You didn’t really do anything,” Monica said.

“Excuse you! I put a lot into this!” Joey gestured.

“Okay, well, thanks,” Rachel put a hand on his shoulder. “We appreciate it. We really do.”   
“I cried. And that’s not an easy thing for me to do!” Joey said, and stormed out of their apartment, knocking a caution tape off the frame. 

“But you’re an actor,” Monica said. She looked at Rachel and followed him out. 

* * *

“Thanks for letting me stay with you,” Monica said to Phoebe over coffee. “I wish we had an estimate on how long it’s going to take before they assess all the damage.” 

“Oh, it’s no problem. Living with you again reminds me of old times,” Phoebe said. “I’m sure it will be okay. I mean, like you said, the fire didn’t seem to spread to your rooms.”

“Oh, and you know what Joey did? He tried to comfort us by ‘recreating’ our apartment out of, uh, what he called his ‘parents' ashes’, which were actually just burnt memorabilia… I don’t know why he went through all the trouble. We appreciate the gesture, but we don’t know what to say to that.”

“Huh, yeah, I’m not sure either,” Phoebe said. “Weird how he calls that ‘ashes.’” 

“Yeah, it caught us off guard, that’s for sure.”

“Just… really weird,” Phoebe seemed lost in thought. 

“Pheebs, you okay?” Monica asked.

“Oh, yes. I’m okay,” Phoebe said, staring at her coffee.

* * *

Later that night, Phoebe snuck into Monica and Rachel’s apartment with a lighter. She located Joey’s attempt at recreating the apartment and set it aflame. 

“I’m sorry, guys,” she whispered, her face illuminated by the growing fire. “Ashes of any kind are bad energy.” She stepped back and watched. Then she pulled out a fire extinguisher and put out the fire. 

When the cloud dissipated, she found Chandler standing there. His outfit gave him a bulky look, and he was holding what looked like a small Tyrannosaurus Rex made out of steel. 

“Chandler?” Phoebe asked.

“Yeah?” Chandler said.

“What are you doing here? I didn’t see you.” 

“Well, I’ll keep your secret and you keep mine,” he said, stroking the steel dinosaur.   
“What is that?” Phoebe asked.

“Well, Ross confirmed that Barney is not a modern concept,” he said, looking down at it. “This here is an old artifact of him. He let me borrow it. It reminds me of my childhood, and now you know why, since it’s been around for a while.” 

Phoebe looked at the artifact, indignant. “Give me that!” she shouted, reaching out to grab it. 

He lifted it above her head. “Uh, no, why?”

“You’re not letting me do my job!” 

“Come again?”   
“Well… I need you to keep another secret. I give tai-chi lessons and one of my biggest clients is a monkey that escaped from the New York Zoo, but no one can know about him.”

“What?”

“But if everyone keeps handling ancient artifacts, someone’s going to crack down on that and put things back in institutions they belong in, including my client, the unfortunate ape.” 

“You can’t be referring to Marcel, right?”

“No, it’s not Marcel. It’s a different monkey.”

“Well, for your information, Ross let me borrow this,” Chandler pulled it away from Phoebe again. 

“But we don’t know if he had permission to give it to you. We have to keep things in their places or I’m going to lose one of my biggest clients.”

“How does a monkey...”

“GIVE IT TO ME!” Phoebe screamed. 

“No! You’re going to wake Joey and Rachel. Come on. I won’t tell, and you don’t tell. Okay? I promise you won’t lose your client just because of this.” 

Phoebe sighed. “Fine.”

“Although I think you should find a more stable line of work.”

“Mind your own business.” 

Phoebe tried to grab Ancient Barney from Chandler when she thought he wasn’t looking, but he pulled it away from her again. 

* * *

In Central Perk, Phoebe strummed her guitar.

“My friends’ house burned down… I’m sure it feels like a clown, if houses could feel. My friend Chandler says Barney is real. I guess that’s the deal. Barney set my friends’ house on fire, because seeing his friends gone was so dire.” 

Light applause followed.


End file.
